"Dearly beloved... we are gathered here to witness and celebrate the marriage of Elise Morgan Chandler, otherwise known as Ellie, and Garrett Thomas
Neilson, otherwise known as... Babe. But only to Ellie."
That was me, officiating Ellie and Garrett's wedding* last week—the couple and I framed beneath a picture-perfect arched hedge in a
picture-perfect garden under the cloudless April sky of Austin, Texas.
The humidity was zero; the spirits were high. Everyone there loves these two. Everyone gathered together was excited (the Dearly
Beloveds, I called them—like they were a 90-piece orchestra instead of friends and family).
The ceremony had heart. It had humor. It also had a pun. (I'll share that in a minute.)
I'd never written a wedding ceremony before.
It was important. It was a challenge.
How do you craft one of life's most
important moments?
How do you craft any content that needs equal measures of heart and humor...?
* * *
The couple called me a month before the ceremony while I was out walking in the still-snowy woods outside of Boston with my dog, Augie.
We were on FaceTime. (Me and the couple; not me and Augie.) I rested the phone in the crook of a pine tree and they asked and I welled up like an overfilled champagne flute because I was so honored, so excited... and (because I love these two) so suddenly and relentlessly determined to deliver to them what they deserved: the Best Ceremony Ever.
"You're a good writer, you just... you know, write it," my friend Melissa counseled. "Like from the heart."
But write... what?
What's the core message? What's the tone?
And for whom in the audience...? The couple? The families? The best friends? The moms and dads paying the bill?
How will I know I nailed it? What are my success metrics?
And is writing actually the place to start?
You probably know where this is going: This speech needed a content strategy!
And because the ceremony is merely weeks away—and I am a slow writer, even when I know where to start—where might generative AI help craft the Best Ceremony Ever? Would it help or hinder?
Well, dearly beloved... let's experiment!
* * *
✅ AI HELPS
❌ AI HINDERS
✅ MARKET RESEARCH
How to officiate a wedding ceremony question mark delivered pages and pages of Google results. Yet blog posts like "6 Steps to Effective Officiating" felt hollow and frustratingly nonspecific. ("Speak from the heart" advice again.) (Sorry for the hate, Melissa.)
Instead, Gen AI platforms ChatGPT and Claude both gave me the structure of a secular ceremony along with legalities for Texas.
ChatGPT in particular was good at big-picture thinking, offering themes and approaches to explore.
Would I have gotten there without AI? Probably.
Would I have gotten there as quickly? No.
❌ MORE MARKET RESEARCH
I watched
countless TikTok videos of other weddings. I saw and felt what worked/what didn't. Where do people laugh? Where do they cry? Where is the uncomfortable silence? What might feel authentic to me?
TikTok also led me to influencers and subject-matter experts, which led me to sign up for an Officiating for Beginners free webinar. Content to inform content? Marketers love meta moments, don't we?
The webinar was 30 minutes, with plenty of time for Q&A. I asked so many questions that the speaker asked at one point, "Does anyone have a question? I mean... anyone other than Ann?"
In the end, I had the structure of the wedding ceremony with specific moments (processional, welcome, vows, ring exchange, pronouncement). I now knew to make sure all the elements flow naturally without feeling rushed or disconnected.
What I learned: Market research with AI tools did the work with me. Not for me. But also critical is a conversation with an actual expert.
✅ OBJECTIVES & GOALS
Claude helped me think through the broader goals of the content:
What central problem are we solving? It's not "get married." Well duh. That's mere table stakes.
The problem we were solving was deeper than that: We want to move hearts and minds, not just check a box. This is a special day; we want everyone to feel how special. We want to balance humor with heart, laughter with love. The real goal:
> to create a narrative that the couple would love, and
> to allow the dearly beloveds gathered there to truly see and understand these two.
The problem we solved was actually this: to introduce the couple to those who didn't know them well (the far-flung family, the plus-ones) while also casting them in a new light for those who do know them well.
My goal was to deliver at least one moment of surprise—I didn't know that about you two!
What I learned: ChatGPT helps shine a light into crevices that I might not have explored otherwise.
Plus, it gaslights writers in a way that I. Am. Here. For!
"This is fantastic!"
ChatGPT gushed. "Wow! Wish I could attend this ceremony!" Thanks, boo. Appreciate the emotional support!
Writing is hard. What writer doesn't need a cheerleader now and then?
✅ AUDIENCE RESEARCH
The three audience... (welp, there's no other word for it...) segments for this ceremony are:
- The primary audience of the bride and groom
- The secondary audience of the family and close friends
- A third tier: the guests, most of whom I didn't know
AI audience research helped me prep a series of very specific questions to ask my primary audience, the bride and groom.
These were beyond softball or demographic questions. Like How long do you want this ceremony to be? What about phones?
To get great content insights, you have to ask revealing questions: What does marriage mean to each of you personally? What do you want to remember about your ceremony? What do you want guests to
feel?
What I learned: Because the couple and I covered a lot of ground during our interview, I used Otter.ai to record and transcribe the marathon
conversation and organize the major themes. That step made it much easier to remember and reference their words when it came time to write.
❌ THE ACTUAL WRITING
The trick to using AI well is knowing when
NOT to use it.
No AI is also an option, despite the AI companies trying to convince you it's indispensable.
If the goal is memorable, personal, persuasive insights...
If your imperfect voice and personality matter...
...then take all your data and research and walk away from the robot!
Shut the
laptop. Close the door. Open a notebook. Open your heart. Pick up a pencil or pen you love the feel of in your hand... and write.
That's a little scary. It's more tempting not to walk away,
because you think: Well, maybe the robot can write a first draft? An outline? AI has all the research and data so... what's the harm?
Here's the harm: AI will control the output too much. Using AI
to write a first draft feels like you've been dropped into a planned community with tended paths + sidewalks + signposts. An enthusiastic golden retriever bounces alongside you, dropping tennis balls relentlessly at your feet. (How about this? How about this? How about now...?)
You don't need the planned community. You don't need the retriever. The retriever's tennis ball is distracting you from your own skills and voice. It's eroding your trust in yourself.
You know what you need to do: Wander around the wilderness. Cut through the thick undergrowth of unexplored territory, asking: How do I tell this true story well? How can I shape these raw insights into something special?
We'll get scratched by the brambles. Forest creatures bite our ankles. It's uncomfortable. You sweat a lot.
That's what writing is—a feeling of exploring someplace new. I even like feeling a little uncomfortable and sweaty and lost. I like the struggle. We need it. Because that's how you connect to the work.
That friction is the start of everything beautiful. No manicured paths, no enthusiastic retriever. You write with your heart, not your hands.
Writing is soulful when it's felt by the
writer first.
Writing is beautiful when the reader feels it, too.
Love is profound because it's both tough and fragile.
The struggle is what makes it last.
REAL METRICS OF SUCCESS
In Marketing, we judge success on dashboards: downloads, landing page visits, signups, ROI, sales, or what have you.
But there are other metrics of success that are equally important: Do you love it? Are you proud of the work? Does it make you happy?
True success is whispered in the softer metrics: the emotional response in laughter and tears, how well you command attention, how much post-content feedback you get from your dearly beloveds.
Do you love it? Do others? Do people hit reply and tell you why?
Do they
mention you to each other? Do people come up to you at the cocktail party and gush as much as ChatGPT did? (But without the gaslighting.)
They do. They did. It was glorious. And the pun got the biggest
laugh:
Why are the bride and groom like melons?
<...>
<...>
<...>
Because they cantaloupe.
* *
*
Is this about a bride and groom? Or is this about a brand?
Is this a wedding ceremony? Or is this a content strategy for any piece of content?
Yes. It's both.
* * *
*Not their real names. The bride and groom are on their honeymoon, and who am I to interrupt their bubble?
P.S. I got ordained 9 years ago on the spur of a moment. If officiating is also a goal of yours, you can get ordained for free at this Internet Church.
